But the truth is, footwear fetishes are common to my entire gender. It's bred into us from the first moment we clomp around in our mother's high heels, if not earlier. Shoes are an integral part of mainstream femininity, and performing femininity correctly means many shoes, impractical shoes, shiny shoes, shoes we can't run or even stand comfortably in. Shoes like the ones I bought yesterday:
I love them, but I hate what they say about me and my desire to conform. One can only resist the evil one-two punch of capitalism and femininity for so long. And since I've worked across the street from a giant she-she mall for the last 18 months without blowing a wad of dough on something overpriced that represents everything I hate about the world, I figured I was about due.I love the addition to my black pump collection som'n fierce, and have dubbed them my Irony Kicks. I could blame the purchase on simple peer pressure since my trip to the mall was engendered by two coworkers' needs for makeup and vacation sandals, respectively. When surrounded by women who blow-dry and straighten daily, know how to blend cream foundation and properly layer eyeshadow, I ask you: What choice do I have but to purchase pumps?
But in truth, I have a long and storied history of shoe-love, with a focus on the black pump oeuvre:
This collection is pared down, and arranged chronologically from left to right. I could tell you exactly when, where and why I bought each pair. Meticulous? Yes. Unusual? No. Sick? Only insofar as society's made me. My shoes may be a tool of the patriarchy, but that doesn't mean I am. I hereby absolve myself of all shoe-related guilt.
You have more black pumps than I have in my entire shoe collection. Not sure what that means, just a fact.
ReplyDeleteI also have given in to the allure of the sexy black high-heels. Ever since I was a little kid I wanted a pair of "Barbie shoes". Now I am the proud owner of a pair of 4.5" stilettos that I can't wear anywhere because they hurt after ten minutes, but I can happily parade around my room in them when I'm playing dress-up! : D
ReplyDelete@Schtuppah It means you're better'n'me, 'course!
ReplyDelete@Danyn These babies are 4", but they still manage to look quite professional. It's just a good thing the only walking I have to do at my job is to the printer. Three cheers for a backup pair 'o' flats in my purse!
They are lovely. As is this: "My shoes may be a tool of the patriarchy, but that doesn't mean I am."
ReplyDeleteWhile I cannot wear such shoes (I tried - there was much pain, and falling down and rolling of ankles) I do appreciate their aesthetic. Objects with graceful lines in simple colors are visually pleasing. Good on you.
Why thank you! I plan to wear them at an upcoming top-secret job interview. I hope I won't fall down on the way (or while there).
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that if I get attacked by zombies while wearing my Irony Kicks, I can easily remove them and use their pointy heels as weapons!