Thanks to my arduous commute, my state of ignorant bliss is, alas, no more. So, in order to provide you all with the benefits of my Significant Life Experience, I give you, without further ado, my Top Six List o' Vehicles Driven by Assholes:
The BMW is the jealous, bitter, aspirational younger yuppie sibling of the Mercedes. Again, the name causes problems in that no one knows what BMW stands for, except for some spurious sources that claim it stands for "Brute's Murder Weapon.*" The Beamer deviates from the Mercedes in that it doesn't matter how old the Beamer is, the driver will never be absolved of asshole status while barreling down the freeway in a car rumored to be built with the blood of Jews. (For realsies! Other cars too!)
The people who drive Audis are the same people who sign their e-mails with "Cheers," or worse, "Ciao."They're going for European mystique and/or sophistication, but all they get are repair bills so high they end up selling their Beamers to pay for them.
Saabs and Volvos
I want to like these cars. I really do. Saab buys ad space on public radio, and Volvo reminds me of hippies. I like public radio and hippies, therefore I should like Saab and Volvo, right? Wrong. These car brands are marketing to the wrong demographic, as people who drive them are without fail unable to use their turn signals or let populist cars change lanes.
And, last but not least, the humble Volkswagen:
You'd think VW would get a bye on accounta being responsible for a cute co-opted slogan like "fahrvergnugen" and making those adorable bugs and Scooby Doo vans. But you'd be wrong! Sure, patchouli-scented old-school VW owners do not pass the asshole test. But did you know that VW was invented by Hitler? Fo' sho'! Also, VW owns Audi, and makes Certifiable Asshole Cars like the Jetta. Unless you live in your VeeDub with your crime-fighting dog and mod posse, you fail.
*I make no claims to truthfulness, honesty or accuracy. I have performed absolutely no research for this article, and am not an expert on cars, assholes or Hitler. These are not the facts you're looking for. Or more accurately, these are not the facts for which you're looking.