The key is choosing something you’ve never done that is embarrassing or titillating for the other people at the table to admit – bonus points if you know some of their secrets and can choose something provocative. Then the entire table will be sitting there, drinks in hand, while that lone one or two guzzle their beverages and alternate between smirking and looking sheepish. Then they turn around and do the same to you.
So in honor of my favorite parlor game, here are a few things I’ve never done (complete with footnotes!). Please raise your glass if you’ve done any of them (and also leave a comment!):
- I’ve never been outside of the North and Western hemispheres
- I've never had a surprise birthday party thrown for me
- I’ve never had a going-away party thrown for me*
- I’ve never broken a bone
- I’ve never ridden on a train
- I’ve never eaten a bloomin’ onion
- I’ve never been to Disneyland**
- I’ve never had a threesome
- I’ve never fire-danced
- I’ve never done a pull-up
- I’ve never lived anywhere but the West Coast, USA
- I’ve never been terribly interested in organized team sports
- I’ve never been skydiving
- I’ve never liked steak, marshmallows or coconut
- I’ve never done body shots. Leastwise, I don’t recall ever doing them.
- I’ve never gotten a tattoo (much to my mum’s delight)
- I’ve never walked out on a job
- I’ve never been in a fistfightǂ
* Not unsurprisingly, I have thrown many surprise parties and going-away parties for others; and one surprise going-away party
** No interest in going at this point – though of course growing up in California, I thought this was pure criminality
ǂ Outside of the time my boxing teacher accidentally hit me in the face and knocked out my contact lens
Now I want to write a post on this. That was a fun list.
ReplyDeleteA wine & cheese party where no one gets drunk? That would be awful!
ReplyDeleteFrom your list, I've done the following:
- been in all 4 hemispheres
- broken 2 bones
- ridden many trains in many places
- participated in an orgy
- done pull-ups
- lived on both the East and West Coasts as well as the Midwest
- like coconut milk and water but not fresh or flaked coconut
- done body shots (party college alum represent!)
- have 2 tattoos
- walked out on a crappy job during the first year of college
A few things I haven't done but would like to do:
- climb a mountain
- take a cooking class in another country
- skinny-dip in a lake/ public body of water
- stay at a job for more than 2 years
Well, I didn't understand a lot of them, so I was unsure as to whether to raise my glass. I don't have a glass in front of me, anyway, only a mean mean hangover on the inside.
ReplyDeleteYou've never ridden on a train? I beg your pardon?
Please don't ever grow out of these games.
Kate - yes please, make a list! Oooh we could all begin playing an internet version of "I never." It would be like a nerdy party game that's not D&D... :)
ReplyDeleteDeena - this is why this game is most excellent, look at all the cool stuff I just learned about you! If we were in person with beer, you would be tipsy right about now.
ReplyDeleteOf the things you've not done, I have done the following:
- Climbed a mountain
- Skinny-dipped
- Stayed at a job for more than 2 years
What I've done:
ReplyDeletehad a surprise birthday party thrown for me
liked steak, marshmallows or coconut - I like marshmallows but not the other two. :)
Mel! Which ones don't you understand? Is yank slang mucking it all up? Let me interpret...
ReplyDeleteAs for the train thing, I've no idea how I made it this far in life without ever taking a train somewhere. Lots of Greyhounds and planes and a military helicopter one time, and horses... but not trains yet. Unless the light rail or subway counts??
Lydia, I am jealous of your surprise birthday partyyyyyy! Also, I really WANT to like marshmallows. I do. Specifically, so I can participate with enthusiasm in the making of s'mores and roasted marshmallow rituals. But noooo all I ever end up doing is eating the chocolate and graham crackers separately while everyone else goes on and on about their delicious s'mores. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't know what body shots are.
ReplyDeleteBy comparison with passenger trains in the 50's, passenger rail in the US today is embarrassing; some routes do go through pretty country that main highways don't, which might make a trip on them worthwhile. If you decide to try one, the Coast Daylight route (Oakland-Los Angeles) has some beautiful stretches you won't see from Highway 101 or even State Highway One. (I advise against riding a freight train for the alleged romance of the thing--way too dangerous for the minimal enjoyment it offers.)
If a bloomin' onion just means an onion, then I'm seven drinks up on you , which is more than I can handle comfortably these days.
John!
ReplyDeleteFrom Wikipedia: "A body shot is a shot of alcohol (such as tequila) that is consumed from a person's body, usually from erogenous zones such as the navel or the breasts." Shenanigans.
Bloomin' onion: A blooming onion, onion bloom, onion blossom, or onion 'mum is a dish consisting of one large onion which is cut to resemble a flower, breaded and deep fried.
And! The coastal daylight/starlight train is one I have been thinking of taking for a long while. I would like to begin here in PDX and stop along the way to visit folks (family and friends in the Bay Area, another friend in San Diego) and then maybe fly somewhere tropical from the SD airport at the end of it. But hooooboy that whole trip is expensive. Driving down I-5 is much cheaper, if grueling.
Well, I skinny-dipped in a pool in St. Croix! Just not publicly...
ReplyDeletePS. Apparently the pandas at the National Zoo had no reaction to yesterday's quake. Happy pandas.
Oh, to add to my list: I haven't crossed the International Date Line, but I would like to!
ReplyDeleteBloomin' onion: A blooming onion, onion bloom, onion blossom, or onion 'mum is a dish consisting of one large onion which is cut to resemble a flower, breaded and deep fried.
ReplyDeleteIn that case, only six drinks. All consumed from inanimate vessels.
The Portland-Oakland stretch is OK but as I recall most of it follows the highway route. Southern Pacific used to run a train called the Shasta Daylight, but the Starlight timetable puts you near Shasta about 1:30 am; if it's clear and there's a moon and you're awake, it's magnificent, but how often do those coincide?
Deena, Now you're just bragging! Also, you are the drunkest of us all. Muah ha ha!
ReplyDeleteJohn, not too terribly often, I'd imagine. But another thing to add to my I Never list is I've never been to Lake Shasta, which is criminal indeed considering how close I lived to it for a good chunk of my life. I ought to remedy that one day.
I kinda enjoy the I've Never-ing, but as Sarah can attest, I have this lovely ADD symptom that causes me to completely lock up when I'm trying to come up with a statement. I have a very similar problem with Truth or Dare. And creative writing.
ReplyDeleteI’ve never been outside of the North and Western hemispheres. In fact, I've never been north of 50N, south of 32N, east of 104W, or west of 125W.
I’ve had a going-away party thrown for me.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve ridden on a train.
I’ve been to Disneyland. I got a horrendous headache on It's a Small World, and I haven't been back since.
I’ve fire-danced.
I’ve done a pull-up. Several, even.
I’ve lived outside of the West Coast, USA, but only in Idaho, which sucks.
I love steak, marshmallows, and coconut (although not in combination).
I haven't been in a fistfight since middle school.
I took four sips.
ReplyDeleteDJUrsus, I bet you there is a tasty coconut-encrusted steak out there somewhere with your name on it. Marshmallows, though, ehhhh not so much.
ReplyDeleteBlue milk - which four?!?