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| It was too hard to find a picture of a girl child in a business suit. This saddens me. |
- I sometimes replace an entire day of meals with cookies.
- Right before I bought my car, I wandered around the house, cash in hand, yelling “Who wants to dance for me?! I want to make it rain! Dance for me, minions! DANCE!”*
- I wear contacts, but don’t carry solution with me. The space in my purse that could have solution in it instead has leftover gum wrappers, three pairs of defunct iPhone headphones, an empty prescription bottle, and various types of identification the government recommends you don’t carry with you.
- I have a mobile mini-bar. (It could be argued that this belongs on The Ways in which I am an Adult list.)
- I still think getting 6 or fewer hours of sleep per night is a perfectly acceptable way to Get More Done.
- I think diet rock star is delicious. This is probably related to No. 5.
- Novelty candy-infused alcohol amuses me.
- I force people to make a big deal out of my birthday.
- I once replaced dinner with four martinis. OK, more than once.
- I own several pairs of impractical shoes.
- I refuse to purchase one of those douchebaggy bluetooth things, even though the headphone bit that comes with my phone keeps breaking, and my favorite time to talk on the phone is while driving.
- I forget about produce I have in the fridge, until it spoils.
- It takes me an inordinate amount of time to get around to making doctor's appointments.
- I think a trip on a Green Tortoise bus would be deeply entertaining.
- I play sophomoric party games.
- I cannot perform amortization calculations accurately, even when presented with a handy chart.
- I am a terrible single-tasker.
- I feel it is entirely reasonable to blow huge wads of cash on theme parties.
- I think dead baby jokes are funny. I know they're not, but they totally are.
- My filing cabinet is very disorganized. And contains craft supplies.
Some might say that I'm not an adult because I am staunchly unmarried and childless, and still pay rent instead of a mortgage.
ReplyDeleteThose people would not be my friends.
I'm actually kind of ridiculously responsible, to be honest. It still surprises me at random moments, given that ten years ago I spent a lot of time having a lot of relatively unsafe fun, but somehow I've become reliable, responsible, and organized. I'm okay with it.
Those people suck. And even though having a mortgage goes on my "adulting" list, those without same don't get booted off.
ReplyDeleteYou are probably more of an adult than I am. Here is what happens when I live alone (and honestly, even when other people are watching, too):
"What's for dinner, me?"
"Oh, I dunno. How about a wad of spinach and some cheese?"
"Yay! OK."
"Hey wait, we're out of spinach."
"Not a problem, self. More cheese for us!"
Yesterday I ate an entire 'share' size bag of skittles. I did not share them with anybody.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I enjoy cartoons. A lot.
I love this post!
ReplyDeleteI'm still a kid in that I:
- consider dressing up for special occasions a mildly unpleasant chore.
- hate wearing a bra!
- still see fantastical creatures when I stare at the clouds.
- eat dessert first. :D
Gin or vodka?
ReplyDeleteI cannot at the moment cleverly think of ways I know for sure I'm not an adult. But your list is more than sufficient.
ReplyDeleteToday I didn't eat anything, 'cept a pastry at 'bout midday, I was very very busy today. I drank some beer though, there are calories in beer, which leads me to wonder if it's possible to just keep going on beer. Never fear, I'm now in bed with a pizza I grabbed on the way home. It has sweetcorn on it, which is one of my five a day. It's 330am, and technically tomorrow ... But at least I'm eating. I'm going to stop typing now ... Jeeeeez.
ReplyDeletePon Keen: You must share these things. At least the red skittles!
ReplyDeleteLydia: No one likes wearing a bra. No one, I tell you!
John: Gin, naturally. With olives, though no olive juice, that's just icky.
Ashlee: Fair enough, and thanks for commenting! :)
swbvr: Mmmm pizza and pastries! Beer definitely counts as a food group, have you heard of the Guinness diet? And... what on earth was keeping you so busy on a Saturday, hmmm??
John: Gin, naturally. With olives, though no olive juice, that's just icky.
ReplyDeleteI'm a vodka drinker but happy to accommodate. I just discovered Bombay Sapphire Gin which besides being tasty in itself is the basis for the Aviation Cocktail, which also calls for Luxardo Maraschino and Creme de Violette--standard pantry ingredients, right? It sounds fussy but it's really delicious and can put you in mind of Katharine Hepburn's jaw-dropping silver moth outfit from the movie "Christopher Strong"--Google the title, I can't figure out how to embed an image here.
I am now on a quest to find creme de violette, because that cocktail WILL BE MINE.
ReplyDeleteBombay Sapphire gin is amazing. I drank almost nothing but that (no, really - you just look at the vermouth from across the room and bam, you've got a martini) for a spell. Tanqueray Rangpur gin is also quite tasty.
...and now I've looked up creme de violette and determined it is not available in my city! Good thing I'll be travelling the I-5 corridor soon and can scoop some up on the way!
ReplyDeleteA couple of SF-area BevMos have the brand my friend recommends, which is thisa one:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bevmo.com/shop/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=34710
It's clearly a niche product for people who like Aviation cocktails--there's the Luxardo and the Bombay Sapphire right there on the same page. It's like Oreos and milk--sure you can have them separately, but why?
And when will you be hitting I-5?
I would be more irresponsible if I had the strength. Most people of my age find me strangely childish and overenthusiastic, especially about electronic gadgets. That's the best I can do.
ReplyDeleteEnthusiasm is underrated. I am a fan of enthusiasm, especially when it comes to things like cookies and paperbacks and sunrises.
ReplyDeleteOh and John: I hit I-5 for Thanksgiving, but stopped just short of the California border. My Bay Area trip remains unplanned for the time being. I suspect I won't get away with that much longer, though!
ReplyDelete