|It was too hard to find a picture|
of a girl child in a business suit.
This saddens me.
- I sometimes replace an entire day of meals with cookies.
- Right before I bought my car, I wandered around the house, cash in hand, yelling “Who wants to dance for me?! I want to make it rain! Dance for me, minions! DANCE!”*
- I wear contacts, but don’t carry solution with me. The space in my purse that could have solution in it instead has leftover gum wrappers, three pairs of defunct iPhone headphones, an empty prescription bottle, and various types of identification the government recommends you don’t carry with you.
- I have a mobile mini-bar. (It could be argued that this belongs on The Ways in which I am an Adult list.)
- I still think getting 6 or fewer hours of sleep per night is a perfectly acceptable way to Get More Done.
- I think diet rock star is delicious. This is probably related to No. 5.
- Novelty candy-infused alcohol amuses me.
- I force people to make a big deal out of my birthday.
- I once replaced dinner with four martinis. OK, more than once.
- I own several pairs of impractical shoes.
- I refuse to purchase one of those douchebaggy bluetooth things, even though the headphone bit that comes with my phone keeps breaking, and my favorite time to talk on the phone is while driving.
- I forget about produce I have in the fridge, until it spoils.
- It takes me an inordinate amount of time to get around to making doctor's appointments.
- I think a trip on a Green Tortoise bus would be deeply entertaining.
- I play sophomoric party games.
- I cannot perform amortization calculations accurately, even when presented with a handy chart.
- I am a terrible single-tasker.
- I feel it is entirely reasonable to blow huge wads of cash on theme parties.
- I think dead baby jokes are funny. I know they're not, but they totally are.
- My filing cabinet is very disorganized. And contains craft supplies.