Feminism, and a whole lot of other -isms which are very much related, is such a huge part of the fabric of my life that I am shocked whenever I discover that my meatworld friends aren't feminists. Or, worse – haven't ever thought about feminism in any real way.
– but it kind of bothers me when women cry at work."
Let me explain. I have friends from all stripes of political, religious, and -ism beliefs, and I like it that way. So when a conservative Christian tells me she is not a feminist, I am not surprised. But, when the sort of college-educated secular humanist vegetarian sometime-lesbians that attend my parties drop "I'm not a feminist" bombs, I'm rendered temporarily speechless.
Let's parse her sentence, shall we? "I don't consider myself a feminist or anything – but it kind of bothers me when women cry at work." Firstly, she spat the word feminist out as if it were a bug she found in the evening's sangria. Secondly, the two clauses, "I don't consider myself a feminist," and "it bothers me when women cry at work," don't really need the connector "but," since, well, they're not mutually exclusive. Wouldn't it make sense that a non-feminist would dislike watching a woman cry? I suspect she meant her audience to take the desire for women to stop their sniveling already as a feminist trait.
But is it enough? Do you often find yourselves in this situation, tender readers? Do you consider female friendship (of the truly supportive, not-seen-on-TV variety) a notch on the feminist spectrum, or not? And why?